


The Last Box

by Grinder1833



Series: Missing Moments [24]
Category: As the World Turns
Genre: Angsty Schmoop, Gap Filler, M/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-30
Updated: 2011-09-30
Packaged: 2017-10-24 04:13:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/258880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grinder1833/pseuds/Grinder1833
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Viking funeral Luke and Noah move into their new apartment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Last Box

**Author's Note:**

> **Rating:** NC-17  
>  **Disclaimer:** I don't own these characters. They are the property of "As the World Turns" and P  & G.  
>  **Characters/Pairings:** Luke/Noah, Holden  
>  **Word Count:** 13,285  
>  **Warnings:** sex  
>  **Spoilers:** The Luke/Noah storyline through July 9, 2009.  
>  **Author’s Notes:** This is a “missing moment” that takes place between the 7/9/09 and 7/15/09 episodes of “As the World Turns”. I’d like to thank Dani for the butt kicking as well as the beta.

Luke slipped his arm around Noah’s waist as they watched the makeshift Viking pyre drift to the center of the pond. He prayed that this would give Noah the freedom from his father that he so desperately needed. That man had tormented Noah throughout his life. Noah needed to be released from his father’s twisted views so he could move on with his own life.

Luke still couldn’t believe that the Colonel was alive and had tried to convince Noah to run away with him. And that wasn’t the only damage the Colonel had done. He’d shot Margo, but thankfully she was going to be okay. Thank god he’d found Noah when he had and was able to convince him to turn the Colonel in to the police. But Luke knew that even thought it had been the right thing for Noah to do, Noah still struggled with the guilt from his decision. Luke wished that Noah had never been put in that situation. Damn the Colonel for continuing to hurt Noah. He was still worried about Noah, even after this Viking funeral that Damian had come up with because Noah had a lot of demons to put to rest when it concerned his father.

Noah also had another issue to deal with, since he had tossed the movie he was making for his senior project into the fire. He was going to have to start all over again. Noah was managing to keep a stiff upper lip, but Luke knew his boyfriend better than anyone. He was still reeling from the events that had unfolded over the past twenty-four hours, so the realization that his senior project had literally gone up in smoke most likely hadn’t hit him full force.

Yet.

God help Noah when it did.

Maybe moving into the apartment today wasn’t the best idea after all…

“You know,” Luke finally spoke up as the fire of the pyre began to burn out. “I can call the movers to see if we can push the move back a few days.”

“Why?” Noah stared at him as if he’d grown another head.

“These past few days have been crazy for you,” Luke said, gently touching Noah’s cheek. “Maybe you need a breather before moving in with me.”

“No way,” Noah insisted, taking a step back. “I need to be with you now more than ever.”

 _Thank god,_ Luke breathed silently, feeling a little guilty as he did so.

Selfishly he’d hoped that Noah wouldn’t want to postpone. Luke had been looking forward to this day for a long time. Finally he was moving into an apartment with Noah. It would be just the two of them – alone. There wouldn’t be any rules or interruptions. They were going to have a home of their own and they’d do things their way. Finding a place to make love or trying to be quiet while they were doing it was going to be a thing of the past. And the best part of it would be waking up to next to Noah every morning.

God…he couldn’t wait.

The apartment Noah had picked out for them was perfect – a fireplace, exposed brick, hardwood floors, a decent size bedroom that would fit Luke’s queen bed, and it was within walking distance to Old Town. He couldn’t wait to get their things moved in so they could start the next phase of their life together. Hopefully, it would be drama free. They were certainly due.

Luke had become spoiled during the time Noah was staying with him at his parents’ house as he recovered from his gunshot wound. Going to bed with Noah every night had been bliss. Even though the sex had to be quiet and fast it was still pretty incredible. Most importantly he loved having Noah so close. The day that Noah had returned to the dorms after his recovery had been a difficult one for Luke. He’d gone from having Noah in his home and in his bed for a few weeks to barely seeing Noah since he was back in the dorms at Oakdale U, working at Java, as well as on his now defunct movie for his senior project. But now Noah was going to be close again.

“Good.” Luke grinned, lacing his fingers through Noah’s. “I’m glad you haven’t changed your mind.”

“Not a chance,” Noah reassured, giving Luke’s hand an extra squeeze to emphasize the point. “I can’t wait to get you alone in our new place, so we can christen every room.”

Luke raised an eyebrow, already having visions of stashing lube throughout their small apartment and praying it wouldn’t be found by one of their guests. “Even the kitchen?” It was a small galley style kitchen which was just big enough for the both of them which might make a quick fuck in there a bit tricky.

Noah placed a kiss on the tip of Luke’s nose. “Even the kitchen, Snyder,” he said with hint of mischief in his deep blue eyes.

“Speaking of kitchens…I’m absolutely starving,” Luke declared. “Why don’t we go to Al’s and grab a bite to eat. My treat.”

“What about the movers?”

“They called me while Damian and I were looking for you,” Luke explained. “They’re running late and we’re their last stop so they won’t get to my parents’ house for a few hours. My mom said not to worry because she’ll be home if they show up early.”

“Al’s it is then,” Noah agreed. “But then I’ll need to go back to my dorm room to pick up the rest of my boxes after we eat.”

“And I’ll need to head home to finish packing,” Luke added as they started their trek back to the farmhouse hand-in-hand.

“You mean you’re still haven’t packed everything?”

“I’m getting there,” Luke hedged. He didn’t want a lecture from Noah about the evils of procrastinating, so he quickly added, “I’ll definitely have the essentials I need to spend the night at our place tonight.”

“I can’t believe this is really happening,” Noah said as they approached the driveway where Luke’s Vibe and Noah’s truck were parked. “This is something I’ve wanted for a long time.”

“Oh?” Luke playfully nudged Noah. “I seem to remember back in January that you weren’t too keen on the idea of moving in together when I suggested it.”

Noah stopped by his truck, leaning against the hood. “We’d just gotten back together,” he clarified. “I didn’t think it was wise to rush into such a big step so soon after reuniting. You seem to be forgetting that I was the one who wanted to get an apartment with you last year. I remember suggesting it a couple of different times.”

Noah had him there. Luke had squashed the idea on more than one occasion for what he had thought were valid reasons at the time. Looking back he had to wonder if it had been a mistake putting off moving in together. Maybe he wouldn’t have made some of the mistakes with the election and Brian if they’d been living together because Noah would have been there to keep him grounded. On the other hand, maybe moving in so soon would have been their ultimate undoing. He’d never know for sure.

Luke draped his arms over Noah’s shoulders. “Yeah…yeah…yeah…I was the one with all of the excuses.”

“They were valid.” Noah was ever the diplomat.

And so fucking sweet and sexy and irresistible…

Luke placed a soft kiss on Noah’s lips. “Meet you at Al’s,” he breathed, relishing the hint of lust that lurked in Noah’s eyes. He really couldn’t wait until the bed was moved into the apartment and set up.

Noah licked his lips. “Yeah.”

Luke stole another quick kiss. “See you there.”

And then he turned on his heel, heading over to his car. Noah seemed like he was doing better. Hopefully, all of the Colonel’s demons had been burned in the fire. Luke didn’t want the ghost of the Colonel haunting Noah anymore. That man had tortured Noah for long enough. He was determined to keep the Colonel away from Noah so that he could never hurt him again.

Luke opened the door of his car and slid behind the wheel. Today had been the perfect day for the Viking funeral which would allow them to start fresh in their new apartment.

This was going to be so fucking great…

****

********

“I think I could just about order everything on the menu,” Noah said, his head buried inside of the Al’s menu.

This was a sure sign that Noah was definitely in better spirits. When Noah was stressed or worried, his appetite was the first thing to go. Luke smiled. “I think I’ll just go with my usual, but with a mocha shake.”

Noah set down the menu. “You are so predictable. I never want to hear you complain that I can’t be adventurous.”

“Me complain?” Luke asked, touching his chest and feigning innocence. “Never.”

“Can I get that in writing?”

“Asshole,” Luke chuckled.

“Brat,” Noah countered, leaning back in his chair. “Actually, a bacon cheeseburger and mocha shake sounds good. I think I’ll get that too.”

The waitress came by to take their orders. Luke couldn’t wait to dive into his shake because he hadn’t had one in awhile. And fortunately they didn’t have to wait long for her to return with their drinks.

“Hey, Snyder!” a somewhat familiar voice called from across the diner.

Luke looked in the direction of the voice, discovering it was his former teammate, Shamar, from the Oakdale High basketball team. He hadn’t seen him since graduation. Last he had heard Shamar had gotten a basketball scholarship at Western Michigan University.

“Hey, Shamar,” Luke called as his ex-teammate approached the table. “How’s it going? Are you still going to Western?”

“Yes, I am,” Shamar said, giving Luke a friendly pat on the shoulder. “I’m still playing ball too. What have you been up to?”

Luke wasn’t about to go into his unsavory exit from OU. “Oh…this and that,” he replied with a shrug. “This is my boyfriend, Noah Mayer. Noah, this is Shamar…we used to play basketball together in high school.”

Noah extended his hand to Shamar. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too. Well…I should get going. I’m picking up a takeout order. I wanted to be sure to get my fix of Al’s burgers before I head back to school next month,” Shamar explained. “I just wanted to come by and say hello. It’s been too long, Snyder. You need to stay in touch.”

“I know…sorry. It was good seeing you.”

“You too.” Shamar turned to Noah. “Bye, Noah, it was nice meeting you.”

“You too. Bye.”

“Well…that was a blast from the past,” Luke said once Shamar was out of earshot. “He’s a good guy. Actually, all of the guys on the team were pretty cool with me being gay. It was never an issue. I was lucky.”

“I still can’t believe that you used to play basketball in high school,” Noah said, staring after Shamar. “Were you like a total jock?” he teased.

“Are you insinuating that just because I’m gay I couldn’t possibly play sports?” Luke countered.

“Easy there, Snyder,” Noah said, taking Luke’s hand. “I was just kidding around.”

Of course he was joking. Luke needed to learn that he didn’t need to always jump on the defensive when it came to the issue of his sexuality or his masculinity. He nodded and replied, “I wouldn’t say total jock but I played basketball and ran cross country.”

“Wow…that’s so hot.”

There was no mistaking the hint of desire in Noah’s eyes. Hmmm…very interesting. “Do you have some sort of jock fetish that I don’t know about?” Luke asked, leaning across the table, eyes twinkling mischievously.

Noah shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Well…looked like Luke was onto to something after all. Very interesting.

“Noah?” Luke persisted.

“What?” Noah glanced down at the table, feigning innocence.

Bingo.

Luke’s eyes widened. “You do. Don’t you?”

“I wouldn’t call it a fetish,” Noah quickly clarified.

Fuck…he’d really hit on something here. Luke remembered Noah saying that he’d kissed a guy before him, but it was some actor who worked at the theater in Branson if he remembered correctly so that guy probably wasn’t the jock type.

Could there possibly be another? Luke had never fathomed that Noah might have had a crush on someone before they met. He’d always assumed that Noah had been so barricaded in the closet that he wouldn’t have dared to lust after another guy. Looked like he had been wrong to think such a thing.

Luke folded his hands in front of him on the table. “So there was someone before me,” he said quietly without a hint of jealousy in his voice.

“A crush…nothing else,” Noah insisted. “It was a long time ago.”

Luke picked up the straw from the table and began to unwrap it. “How long?”

“I was a freshman in high school living at Ft. Leonard Wood,” Noah said, glancing down at his milkshake, stirring it with a spoon. “I had this neighbor…Kyle Babcock…he was a senior…perfect as far as I was concerned… captain of the football team, a straight A student, president of the class, outgoing, funny, and charismatic…I wished that I could be just like him.”

“Was he hot?”

Noah considered Luke’s question before answering. “He was good looking,” he replied. “Tall…athletic body…not too beefy…light brown hair and green eyes.”

“Were you friends?” Luke asked, taking a sip of his shake.

“Yeah…I was completely shocked that he wanted anything to do with me,” Noah admitted.

Luke swallowed the sip he’d taken. He found it hard to believe that some cool kid wouldn’t want to be friends with Noah. Noah was smart, sweet, funny…a downright amazing guy. “Why?”

“Oh, Luke,” Noah sighed. “I so awkward and shy. I was the original ugly duckling…a regular train wreck. No wonder my father was constantly embarrassed by me.”

“Noah…no,” Luke said, reaching across the table and taking Noah’s hand. “I can’t see you as an ugly duck. No way. You are probably being way too hard on yourself.”

He pulled his hand away, leaning back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. “Trust me…you wouldn’t have found me the least bit attractive back then,” Noah chuckled ruefully.

“I beg to differ,” Luke insisted. He couldn’t imagine never being attracted to Noah. Not a chance. “Have you forgotten that I was a pocket protector wearing geek? I think it sounds like we would have been a perfect match.”

“We are now, which is all that matters.”

Their waitress dropped off their food. Over burgers and fries they decided to figure out their plan of attack for the move. Once they were done with their meal, they’d head off in separate directions to pick up boxes and other items that the movers weren’t putting on the truck. Only a few of Noah’s boxes had made it into his truck before his freak out so he needed to finish the job. And Luke had an entire bedroom to finish packing up.

“I guess it is a good thing that the movers are running behind schedule,” Noah said, dipping a French fry into some ketchup.

“It won’t take me long,” Luke insisted. He took a sip of his shake, gazing at Noah through his lashes. “And it wouldn’t take long at all if my big, strong boyfriend helped me.” He stretched his hand across the table and caressed Noah’s arm with his fingertips, hoping that Noah would find this move irresistible.

“You’re lucky that I don’t have many boxes to load.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Yes!” Luke pumped his fist, grinning broadly.

“But…you’re going to owe me. _Big time_.”

“Will you take it out in trade?” Luke asked suggestively.

Noah laced his fingers through Luke’s. “Oh…that’s the plan, Snyder.”

Luke loved it when a good plan comes together. And he just knew that there would be a lot of coming later on.

****

********

Luke’s bedroom looked as if a tornado had blown through it. The bed had been taken apart and was resting against the wall along with the mattress and box spring ready for the movers to take it way. There were boxes everywhere…some packed, others with just a few things in them. Old newspapers that were going to be used to wrap his breakables were piled high on his desk. His dresser drawers were pulled out of the dresser, laying about the room and his closet doors wide open, revealing the mess inside it. He really had his work cut out for him. Hopefully, it wouldn’t take Noah too long to finish up at the dorm so he could get there soon to lend a hand.

Fuck…he didn’t even know where to begin.

“Knock…knock…” Holden said, standing in the doorway.

Luke waved him in. “Come into the chaos.”

Holden surveyed the room and chuckled, “I thought you were moving out today.”

“I am…I just fell behind a bit. A Viking funeral will do that to you.”

“Viking funeral?” Holden asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh.” Luke had forgotten that his dad knew nothing about the Viking funeral that Damian had come up with. Damian was not his father’s favorite subject. He should have just kept his mouth shut, but it was too late now. “We kinda had a Viking funeral at the pond for Noah’s dad’s things,” he quickly explained. “Noah was having a hard time dealing with his dad’s sudden return so he burned all of his father’s things on a makeshift pyre in the pond so he could put his father behind him…get him out of his head once and for all.”

Holden slowly nodded. “Interesting idea. Did you come up with it?”

Luke nervously tugged on his ear. “Uh…no…it was Damian’s idea. He and mom came to the pond to get us started with it.”

“Your mother didn’t mention attending any Viking funerals today.”

Great…now he really screwed things up. The last thing Luke had wanted to do was get his mom in hot water with his dad. “Well…she didn’t actually stay long so it really wasn’t worth mentioning.”

“Probably.” But Holden’s tone didn’t match his statement.

“So are you here to kick me out the door?” Luke asked, trying to lightening the mood in the room which had quickly taken on a somber mood.

“Hardly. It won’t be the same around here without you.”

Luke drummed his fingers on one of the boxes that were stacked in front of him. “Are you really okay with me moving in with Noah?” He knew that his father was supportive of his relationship with Noah. Holden considered Noah one of his own.

But moving in together was a whole different ballgame. Living together meant sleeping together every day, which thrilled Luke to no end. However, he wasn’t so sure how his dad felt about it. He’d been great while Noah was staying with them, not giving them a hard time about sharing a room. But those had been extenuating circumstances – Noah was healing from a gunshot wound and Luke was trying to heal from his own hellish ordeal so his parents had cut them a lot of slack. Holden had to know that Luke was no longer a virgin. Surely, he didn’t expect him to stay that way forever.

However, their living arrangement at his parents’ house had been a temporary situation so it might have been easier for his dad to deal with. Living with Noah was going to be permanent this time. They weren’t even moved in and Luke already knew that he wanted this to last longer than the few months their lease was for. Noah would feel the same, especially since he hated living in the dorm.

“Yes. I’m perfectly fine with you and Noah living together,” Holden reassured him. “You’ve been together for almost two years. And I think you two complement each other very well. Noah is good for you.”

“You mean he tries to keep me from doing anything really stupid,” Luke laughed.

“Well…if you want to put it that way…”

“Noah definitely grounds me. He’s incredible.”

“He’s a smart young man. He knows what he wants to do with his life.”

Luke could feel his hackles rise and defenses go on high alert. “Are you insinuating that I don’t?”

“I wish you were still in college,” Holden answered diplomatically.

Luke wondered how long until the subject of ‘what are you going to do with your life’ came up. He’d foolishly hoped never. “OU isn’t an option for me,” Luke reminded him. “I got expelled. I have the foundation to keep me busy.”

“You should want more than something to just keep you busy.”

“Dad,” Luke groaned. “I really don’t want to go into this right now. I need to finish packing and get these boxes moved over to the apartment. I’m finally getting out on my own. I think that’s a good accomplishment.”

Holden held up his hands. “Fine. I’ll give you a pass for now.”

Luke sauntered over to his nightstand and picked up the framed photo of him and Noah together. It was a close-up of their faces that was taken the night they’d attended Natalie’s dance recital last summer. Faith had just gotten a new digital camera so she’d insisted on trying it out on them which made the picture extra special. “I can’t imagine ever being with anyone else,” Luke murmured, staring at the photo.

“Would you like some helpful tips about living with the love of your life?” Holden asked. “I know your mom and I have made our fair share of mistakes, but I would be happy to pass along my wisdom.”

Luke wrapped the photo in newspaper before setting it inside a box. “Sure. We’re probably going to need all the help we can get,” he admitted. “Noah is a bit of a neat freak and…well…you know me.”

Holden chuckled. “Yes…that’s where compromise is going to need to come in. Compromise is huge in a relationship.”

“Right.” Luke nodded. He thought they did a pretty good job in this department. “Are you also going to tell me not to go to bed angry?”

“I highly recommend it. And I also recommend communicating. You can’t have enough good communication in a relationship. I’ve lived through what happens when you don’t.”

“Me too,” Luke murmured. He and Noah had been very guilty of not communicating with each other in the past. It had led to one hell of a mistaken drunken kiss that still made Luke cringe when he remembered it. This was a mistake that he didn’t want to make again.

“Never go a day without saying ‘I love you’,” Holden said, placing his hand on Luke’s shoulder.

“We don’t.” Luke smiled. Telling Noah how much he loved him was easy. And he liked to do it as often as possible. Luke also liked to show him. A lot.

Holden gave Luke’s shoulder a squeeze. “Then you and Noah will be off to a great start.”

“Hope so,” Luke said quietly. He wanted this move to be perfect, especially since it’s taken so long to get to this point. But, then again, it would be worth the wait. Just like it had been when they first made love.

“You better get packing if you want to get all moved today,” Holden’s voice cut through his thoughts.

Before Luke could respond another male voice added, “Have you packed anything?”

“I told you I liked this guy,” Holden said, clapping a hand on Noah’s back when he entered the room.

“Great…just what I needed,” Luke grumbled, shoving his alarm clock into a box. “Now it’s two against one.”

Noah came over to him, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’m not against you…just wish that I was helping you load boxes, not pack them.”

Holden stifled a chuckle. “I think you’re in good hands now. I’ll be downstairs if you need me.”

“I didn’t realize that I had so much to pack,” Luke sheepishly admitted, marching over to his closet.

“Are you bringing everything in here?” Noah asked, glancing around the room.

“I’m not bringing the desk since we don’t have room for it, but everything else is pretty much coming,” Luke explained as he looked up toward the top shelves of the closet. “I need to make sure that I don’t leave anything embarrassing behind.”

Noah came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Luke’s waist and resting his chin on Luke’s shoulder. “Oh? And what could that be?” he teased.

“You know damn well what it could be.”

“Porn? Lube? Or other unmentionables?” Noah’s breath was hot against Luke’s ear.

Luke titled his head to the side to allow Noah better access to his neck. God…he hoped Noah would kiss his neck. He always loved when Noah licked or kissed it. Noah didn’t disappoint, licking a small stripe and following it up with a kiss that left Luke weak-kneed.

“All of the above,” Luke gasped, pressing back against Noah’s chest. They really fit so perfectly together. He shut his eyes, savoring the sensation of Noah getting hard from being close to him.

Close.

Luke had always thought that he and Noah were close, but nothing matched the intimacy that they shared once they finally made love in this very room.

“You better not forget them then…sounds like vital supplies,” Noah murmured.

“Which would be mortifying if said items fell into the wrong hands.”

Noah placed a wet kiss on Luke’s cheek and stepped away from him. “You definitely better not forget them then.”

“I’m so glad that we won’t have to hide anything in our apartment.”

“We don’t have any secrets to hide.”

Luke smiled. “No…we don’t. We’ve always been so honest with each other.”

“Did you want me to load some of these boxes into my truck?” Noah asked, sauntering over to one of the boxes that was actually taped shut and labeled.

“Sure…I’ll finish organizing the rest of the stuff,” Luke decided. “I promise I won’t take long.”

Noah stacked two boxes, bending over as he did so to offer Luke a lovely view of his ass. Maybe packing wasn’t so bad after all. Luke enjoyed watching his boyfriend use his muscles. It reminded him of their stolen moments at the farm while they were doing “barn chores.”

“Luke…” Noah prodded when he caught Luke lost in his daydream.

“What?”

“Pack.”

“Okay…okay,” Luke grumbled, returning to his closet to finish emptying its contents.

Only when he knew that Noah was safely down the steps Luke took a moment to get nostalgic about his room. He’d been through a lot here – warding off the demons of his time locked away in the old tower in Malta when he was a kid, worrying about his parents’ marriage, struggling to come out, endless hours of pouring his soul into his journal, and losing his virginity.

Wow.

And now it was time to close this chapter of his life…leave his childhood behind, grow up a little, and start the next with Noah, whom he loved with all of his heart and soul.

“Luke, you better be packing!” Noah’s called voice came from the bottom of the stairs.

Even if his boyfriend was a pain in the ass.

****

********

“What a mess,” Noah groaned, standing amongst a sea of boxes in the living room of their apartment.

Boxes were stacked everywhere…on the floor, coffee table, kitchen table. Luke was surprised by how much stuff they had, even though they were still missing some essentials such as pots and pans and dishes. Almost everything they did have was donated to them by his family.

“We’ll get it in order,” Luke said, surveying living room. “Eventually.”

“Are you sure you like the apartment?”

“I love it.”

And he really did. The first floor apartment was small but they didn’t need a lot of space between them, especially since Noah was used to living in a cramped dorm room. This apartment probably felt like a palace to him. When Noah first showed it to him, Luke immediately fell in love with its homey feel. He really loved the fireplace, which Noah had quickly pointed out had been converted to gas so they wouldn’t have to worry about getting wood for it. The galley kitchen was little but it didn’t have avocado green appliances which was definitely a plus. Luke didn’t think he’d spend too much time in the kitchen given his penchants for burning grilled cheese.

From what he could see of it, the round table and chairs from Grandmother’s pool house looked good in the dining room that was adjacent to the kitchen. The sofa, end tables, and coffee table that also came from the pool house rounded out the living room. Grandmother’s castoffs were a godsend. The mere thought of trying to furnish the apartment from scratch was enough to give Luke a migraine. The gay fairies failed to give him any sense of decorating and style.

“We should probably get the bed assembled so we have a place to sleep tonight,” Noah suggested.

Ah yes…the bedroom. _Their_ bedroom to be more precise. Luke had a feeling that the bedroom would probably be his favorite room in the apartment. It was smaller than his bedroom at home, but it didn’t matter because it was theirs. Unfortunately, the room was also a disaster area. None of the drawers had been put back into the dresser yet. The mattress, box springs, and bed frame were leaning against two of the walls along with a stack of boxes.

Damn boxes were taking over the apartment. He wouldn’t be surprised if he had nightmares about them becoming sentient and attacking.

“We’ll need some tools so we can put the bed together. I’ll be right back.” Noah stepped around Luke. “We’re going to have to decide where we’re going to put the bed,” he called over his shoulder as he marched out of the room.

Bed placement had been the one argument they’d had about the apartment. Luke wanted it on the wall next to the window because they’d get the morning sun from it. Noah wanted it on the other wall away from the window, because he liked the room dark as a tomb when he slept…the fucking vampire.

“So…any thoughts?” Noah asked, coming up behind him a few minutes later, placing his hand on Luke’s shoulder.

“Well…” the rest of Luke’s thought died in his throat when he saw his boyfriend. Sweat glistened on his forehead and neck from the quick run out to the parking lot. Noah had gotten his toolbox out of his pickup truck. For some reason Luke found it incredibly sexy that Noah owned such a thing. He was getting a semi just looking at him.

God…he was so easy.

Noah set the toolbox down, obliviously to how he was turning Luke on. “Well?”

Luke shook his head, trying to clear it so he could spit out one coherent sentence. “I still want to put the bed by the window,” he sheepishly admitted, “but I really don’t want to get into another fight about it.”

“We can put it by the window.”

Surely, it couldn’t be this easy. “What about ‘I like it dark like my coffee’?”

“Throwing my words back at me, Snyder?” Noah said with a toothy laugh. “I’m trying to be nice here and you’re hitting me with the snark.”

“When we talked about this before you were quite adamant that you liked the dark…no… _loved_ the dark…needed the dark…fucking wanted to marry the dark.”

“It’s called compromise,” Noah replied, playing with Luke’s hair. “I think you might have heard about it. There are blinds on the window so that will keep most of the light out and I work a lot of early shifts at Java, so I’ll be up at the crack of dawn anyway.”

“I like how you think, Mayer,” Luke declared. Their first compromise in their new apartment deserved a kiss so Luke rewarded Noah with one. “I think we should eat before we take on this room.”

Noah shook his head. “Work first…food later.”

“I work better after I’ve been fed.” Luke bestowed his best puppy dog face on Noah.

But Noah wouldn’t budge. “I think making sure we have a place to sleep tonight is more important than eating right now.”

Noah had a point. Not only was it important to have a place to sleep, they also needed a place to fuck. Fucking was crucial. “You’re right. Let’s get this bed set up,” he said, rubbing his hands together.

Another compromise. He was getting pretty damn good at this.

They were also good at working together. The incentive of food and sex was all the motivation Luke needed. They got the bed assembled without a negative word between them.

“Now we can eat,” Luke said, bouncing on the mattress.

“Now we can make the bed,” Noah countered.

“You’re really making me work for my dinner,” Luke grumbled.

Noah dug a set of clean sheets out of one of the boxes from Luke’s parents’ house. Bless his mom for letting him take a few sets of sheets that went with his bed. They had no problem getting the midnight blue fitted sheet on the mattress, but Noah couldn’t handle how Luke was making his corners with the flat sheet.

“Please…let me do it,” Noah said, marching over to Luke’s side of the bed.

“What’s wrong with the way I’m doing it?”

“Just let me.”

“Noah, he’s not going to come by and do a surprise inspection. He’s in jail.”

“Thanks to me,” Noah muttered.

Luke rubbed Noah’s back. “Yeah…thank god you called the police. That man deserved…” He stopped himself, biting his lip so he wouldn’t say another word. Noah lived with every evil act that his father had committed…no need to remind him. Luke stepped away from the bed. “Make it any way you want. My mom always said I did a half-ass job.”

Noah finished making the bed, folding the corners with crazy precision and smoothing the sheets so there wasn’t one wrinkle. Luke shuddered to think what the Colonel would have done to Noah if there had been a wrinkle.

“Sorry…I just…”

“You don’t have to say another word.”

Noah nodded. “What are we going to use for a comforter?”

“Mom wanted the one from my room for the guest room, so she gave me this one,” Luke said, pulling a slate blue plaid comforter out of one of the boxes.

“Great.”

Together they spread it out over the bed. Luke was certain that Noah would smooth and fix it once his back was turned.

 _Compromise,_ he reminded himself.

“Are you ready for dinner?” Noah asked.

“Yes! How about pizza?” Luke suggested. “We’re in Bennidito’s delivery area, so we don’t even have to leave the apartment to pick it up.”

“One of the reasons why I picked this apartment.”

“I already love living here,” Luke said with a grin.

While Noah placed their pizza order, Luke dug through the boxes on the dining room table, hoping that Emma had packed some paper plates for them. Thankfully, she had. Then he grabbed a couple of Cokes from the refrigerator, sauntering into the living room where Noah was clearing the boxes off the coffee table.

“It will be here in forty-five minutes,” Noah told him.

Luke set down the soda, plates and napkins on the coffee table and then collapsed dramatically on the sofa. “I think I’ll starve by then.”

Noah placed the cans on napkins as to not stain their coffee table. “You’ll live.”

Luke patted the empty space next to him. “Come here and relax while we wait for the pizza.”

Noah’s eyes darted around the apartment, taking note of everything that still needed to be done. But Noah joined Luke without one word of protest.

“So…here we are in our apartment,” Luke said, his fingers carding through the back of Noah’s hair. “Finally.”

“Finally,” Noah murmured, covering Luke’s lips with his own.

Luke sighed into the kiss. They could kiss on their sofa and not worry about anyone interrupting them. _Finally._ Luke inched closer to Noah as their kiss deepened. Noah’s hand slid down Luke’s back, cupping his ass and pulling him onto Noah’s lap. Luke loved this…being so close to Noah, sharing slow hot kisses…just enjoying each other. It had been awhile since they’d just sat on the sofa and made out like a couple of teenagers.

And then the buzzer to their apartment interrupted them. Damn.

“Pizza’s here,” Noah breathed.

Luke hauled himself off Noah’s lap. “I don’t know whether to hug the delivery guy because I’m famished or punch him for disturbing our make out session.”

“We’ll have plenty of time for making out…and more,” Noah reassured him as he marched over to the door to buzz the delivery guy in.

Noah was right. They had nothing but time now. It was almost too good to be true. There they were about to have their first of many meals together in their apartment. Luke was almost afraid that someone would knock on the door at any moment to tell them that there had been a terrible mistake and they would have to move out of the apartment.

“Smells delicious,” Noah said, bringing the pizza over to the coffee table. He put the pizza down. “Hey…is something wrong?”

Luke quickly shook his silly fear away. He and Noah were allowed to be happy. Dammit…they deserved it. “Nothing…just trying to take it all in. It’s kinda overwhelming.”

“But in a good way?” Noah asked with a tinge of fear in his voice.

Luke grinned. “Yes…yes…a very good way.”

Noah opened his can of Coke. “I think we should make a toast to our new place.”

“Okay.” Luke cracked open the can of Coke that was in front of him. “Did you want to do the honors?”

“You know I’m not good with words.”

“But it was your idea.”

Noah bit his lip, brows furrowing. “Okay.” He picked up the can. “It means so much to me that we’re finally living together. I can’t wait to spend every night with you, wake up with you, and share my life with you.”

“For someone who always claims not to have a way with words you always do a really good job of expressing yourself.” Luke picked up his Coke, gently knocking it against Noah’s can. “I’ll drink to that.”

And they did…happily.

God…he was so fucking happy. He wanted to grab Noah and dance around their living room with him. The only thing that stopped him was a lack of music and his growling stomach.

Noah opened the pizza box. “I can definitely get used to being in Bennidito’s delivery area.” He picked up a paper plate, placed a few slices of pizza on it and handed it to Luke before fixing a plate for himself.

They ate in relative silence. Luke was so hungry that he practically inhaled the pizza on his plate before diving in for seconds. Good thing Noah ordered an extra large or else they wouldn’t have any leftovers.

After they were stuffed, Noah took Luke’s plate from him, stacking it with his own and taking them along with the pizza box into the kitchen. Noah was spoiling him already.

“That really hit the spot,” Luke called to Noah as he rubbed his belly.

“Now that you’re fed are you ready to get back to work?”

“Don’t I get dessert?”

“Gosh, Luke, I don’t think we have anything, unless your grandma hid some cookies in one of the boxes she gave us.”

 _Oh, Noah,_ Luke thought, shaking his head as he got up from the sofa. It looked like he was going to have to set his boyfriend straight. Well…not too straight. He sauntered into the dining room where Noah was peering into one of the boxes on the dining room table.

“That’s not quite what I had in mind,” Luke said, placing his hand on Noah’s back.

“Did you want to go out for ice cream?”

Luke slowly shook his head, chuckling. “No…not in the mood for ice cream. I was thinking of my long, tall boyfriend.”

“Did you want to eat me up with a spoon?” Noah laughed.

“No spoon…just my tongue.”

Noah placed his hands on Luke’s shoulders. “I like the sound of your dessert.”

“I thought you would. I want you to fuck me,” Luke breathed, slowly stroking Noah’s cheek.

“Where?”

“In the ass,” Luke deadpanned.

Noah burst out laughing. “I meant which room, brat.”

Grinning, Luke wove his fingers through the back of Noah’s hair. “I was thinking the bedroom… _our_ bedroom is a good place to start.”

“I’ve always liked the way your mind works, Snyder.”

Luke took Noah’s hand, pulling him toward their bedroom. His heart was beating jackhammer fast. Noah wasn’t alone in making a fresh start. Luke needed to as well. Two months later Zoe…Gina…whoever the hell she was…still had control over him. He was still allowing her to play head games with him even though she was locked away in jail.

“Are you sure that you want to bottom?” Noah asked, arms wrapped securely around Luke.

Every time he and Noah have made love since the kidnapping Noah has bottomed because Luke needed to have total control. Luke wouldn’t allow himself to feel vulnerable, even though he knew that Noah would never hurt him. Noah has been amazing through this, never once complaining or trying to push him.

Enough was enough though.

“Yes...you aren't the only one who is going to put demons to rest today. Now is the perfect time to finish taking my life back,” Luke said, gazing up at Noah.

Noah gave Luke a soft kiss on the lips. Then he knelt in front of Luke, resting his head against the erection that was straining against his jeans. “I’m going to take such good care of you.”

“You always do,” Luke murmured, snaking his fingers through Noah’s hair.

Noah kissed the outline of Luke’s cock which made him shudder. Not only has Noah been bottoming, he has been the only one receiving the blow jobs. Again…it was that stupid control thing. Luke hadn’t been ready to allow Noah to go there.

“Missed this,” Noah’s voice was muffled against the denim of Luke’s jeans. “Love sucking you.” He slowly undid Luke’s jeans, giving Luke plenty of time to put the brakes on.

Luke loved it as well. He had forgotten how much he longed for the intimacy of Noah’s mouth wrapped around his cock. He’d never let anyone take this away from him again. Closing his eyes, Luke savored the feeling of Noah lovingly licking and sucking his cock. Noah knew just how to bring him oh-so-close, too.

“God…Noah,” Luke groaned loudly. Yes…he could be _loud_. His fingers were wound through Noah’s hair, helping him to stay on his feet because his knees had turned to jelly.

Noah lifted his mouth off Luke’s dick. “Wanna move this to the bed?” Luke nodded as he stepped out of his jeans and boxers, kicking them aside. “Let’s get rid of this first,” Noah said, lifting Luke’s green shirt over his head.

Ironically, Luke was wearing the same shirt he’d had on when he was kidnapped by the Z Twins. If Luke had his way he would have tossed it in the garbage, but it was one of Noah’s favorite shirts on him. Noah always said that he loved how it showed off Luke’s chest. Luke couldn’t bring himself to trash something Noah really liked. Zoe also had way too much power over him as it was so he wasn’t about to give her more.

“You’re a little overdressed, Mayer,” Luke said with a smile as grasped the hem of Noah’s maroon polo.

“Help me out?”

Luke nodded, tugging Noah’s polo over his head and flinging it onto the floor. He made quick work of Noah’s jeans and boxers, eager to see his boyfriend naked. Noah stood before him nude…so long…even after all this time together he still couldn’t get over how long and lean Noah was…so much skin to kiss, lick, and caress.

Luke’s fingers trailed across Noah’s chest, over his nipples, feeling them stiffen underneath his touch. He loved this…feeling Noah, especially how Noah reacted to his caresses. Noah was hard all over…especially his dick which seemed extra lengthy and thick.

There was nothing on this earth that could come close to comparing how unfuckingbelievable it felt to have Noah’s cock balls deep in his ass. The last time he’d bottomed for Noah was the night he’d gotten home from the hospital after the hit and run at Metro. Way too long ago. Noah was going to stretch him until he burned for days.

“Shit…lube.” Luke looked at the boxes that were stacked against the wall, praying that the lube wasn’t buried in one of them.

“It’s already in the nightstand,” Noah said, taking his hand and walking him to the bed.

Luke had never been more thankful that his boyfriend was a boy scout. “Good because we’re going to need a lot of it. It’s been a long time.”

Noah reached into the nightstand drawer, fishing out the lube and tossing in onto the mattress. “I know. We’ll go slow.”

Luke stretched out on the bed, lying on his back; legs spread and ready to go. Noah crawled between them, draping one of Luke’s legs over his shoulder. He felt a little exposed in this position, being so open and vulnerable. Noah would take care of him though.

Instead of hearing the sound of the cap of the lube being flipped open, Luke was surprised to feel Noah’s tongue tentatively licking a small stripe around his hole, making him shudder. Noah paused, waiting for Luke’s blessing to continue which Luke gladly gave him.

“Please…don’t stop,” Luke moaned. Being rimmed by Noah was like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and the Fourth of July all rolled into one. Having Noah’s tongue in his ass always made him feel so incredibly wanton. It was still mind-blowing that Noah, who had once been in such denial about being gay, now had no qualms about sticking his tongue inside Luke’s ass. They’d come such a long way since their first kiss at WOAK.

Slowly, he was surrendering his control to Noah. And Noah eagerly took it lick by delicious lick. It felt oh-so-good too. But then Noah’s tongue was gone, leaving Luke aching for Noah’s touch. Luke propped himself up on his elbows. “Noah…you stopped…” he practically whined.

Noah popped open the lube. “Only for a minute.”

Luke slid his leg down Noah’s back. “Fuck me…”

“I will…”

“Now…please…I need your cock inside of me…”

Noah slipped a lube-coated finger inside of Luke. “Soon…need to get you ready first. Don’t want to hurt you.”

Luke’s head hit the pillow. “Waiting is hurting me,” he groaned.

Noah’s finger sought out Luke’s prostate, slowly stroking it. “Easy, Snyder…” he soothed.

Luke moaned, lifting his hips from the mattress. God…he missed this…having Noah inside of him (even if it was just a finger). He needed more though. Much more. “Fuck me, Noah…”

“I forgot what a bossy bottom you are,” Noah teased.

“You should be flattered that I love having your cock inside me.”

“I’m still not going to rush this.”

Under normal circumstances Luke would have been thrilled that Noah was being so considerate, taking extra special care of him, but right now all he wanted was to get fucked so hard he’d feel it for a week. Luke blew out a calming breath, instead of making some sort of snarky comment to his boyfriend. Noah adding a second finger helped too.

“Better…much better…” Luke murmured.

“I can’t get over how tight you are.”

“Gonna feel so good when you fuck me…”

“Now you’re killing me,” Noah groaned.

“I know a way to put you out of your misery.” Luke innocently smiled up at Noah.

Shaking his head, Noah kissed Luke on the lips as he withdrew his fingers. “You win, but I’m still going to go slow.”

That’s what Noah thought. Luke knew his boyfriend well enough to know what to do to get Noah to succumb to his wishes. Luke would get his way. He was certain of it.

Luke propped himself up again so he could watch Noah slick up his cock with extra lube. Watching Noah touch himself always made Luke so horny…long fingers wrapped around a long, thick cock…god lord…it was almost enough to make him come. Noah seemed to be drawing out the process…damn exhibitionist. He smeared more lube around Luke’s hole, which meant that Luke was going to get fucked very soon. Noah probably had used half the tube on him.

Relaxing into the mattress, Luke spread his legs extra wide, bracing himself for the stretch that was about to come. Instead he got a tease. Noah brushed the head of his dick across Luke’s opening.

“Are you sure about this?” Noah asked, eyes locking onto his.

“Yes, baby,” Luke groaned, trying unsuccessfully to impale himself onto Noah’s cock.

Carefully, Noah pushed into him. Luke had to bite his lip so he wouldn’t cry out because then Noah would stop. Noah _couldn’t_ stop, it would kill Luke at this point. Fuck…he wanted the stretch and burn and was getting it in spades. Luke wrapped his legs around Noah’s back as Noah inched into him.

_Yesyesyesyes…_

How had he managed to go so long without this?

“How are you doing?” Noah asked, caressing Luke’s cheek.

“Good.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Luke rocked his hips to emphasize the point. “Fuck me, baby…fuck me.”

Noah’s thrusts started slow, but Luke met each one trying to quicken the pace. Luke wanted fast, hard, and deep. Noah refused to give into Luke, directing the speed of their love making. Noah was in control. Luke finally allowed himself to let go and follow Noah’s lead. It was freeing being able to completely trust Noah.

And when he finally came with the help of Noah’s hand around his dick, Luke felt the walls he’d erected since the kidnapping crumble. Luke was free.

“Oh my god,” Luke gasped after Noah came louder than he’d heard him in quite awhile. The sound of Noah coming hard was bliss. “I love you…I love you,” Luke murmured, peppering Noah’s face with tiny kisses.

“I love you too.”

“Thank you.”

Noah shook his head. “No…thank you for trusting me.”

“Always.” Luke traced his finger along Noah’s cheek.

Carefully, Noah pulled out of Luke. Already he felt empty without Noah inside him. But it wouldn’t be long until he was again.

“It felt so good to be inside of you again, baby,” Noah murmured, lightly trailing his fingers over Luke’s chest.

_Baby._

Noah had just called him "baby." Terms of endearment weren’t words Noah Mayer used. For as long as they’d been together he never uttered one "honey," "sweetheart" or "baby.". "Snyder" was as close as Noah ever came.

Baby…wow. The word sounded good coming out of Noah’s mouth. But he decided not to bring attention to it. He didn’t want to embarrass Noah…especially if he wanted Noah to use the word again. And he definitely did.

“Yeah…I missed it too.” Luke stroked Noah’s arm. “We’re going to have to do it again. Soon.”

“I think I can arrange that,” Noah glanced up at him with mischievous eyes.

“I’m really going to love this living together thing.”

“You know…we really need to go shopping tomorrow for pots, pans, and dishes,” Noah said, sitting up. “We can’t survive on takeout forever.” Luke opened his mouth to speak, but Noah cut him off. “Well…you might be able to survive but not me.”

“I wish you had tomorrow off,” Luke grumbled, staring at the ceiling. “Can’t you find anyone to cover your shift?”

“Luke, I need to work all the hours I can at Java…not only to help pay for this place but now I’m going to need extra money for my film project since I’ll be starting over,” Noah gently reminded him.

Of course Luke’s first reaction was to tell Noah that he didn’t need to worry about the money, but he held his tongue. Noah was adamant that they split the expenses equally. And Luke needed to respect that wish.

“You’re right,” Luke sighed. “Sorry.”

Noah wove his fingers through Luke’s chest hair. Luke loved how this felt…loved the way Noah knew just the perfect way to touch him.

“I’m working the early shift so I should be home shortly after one o’clock.”

“Home,” Luke murmured, playing with Noah’s hand. “I like the sound of that.”

“Me too.” Noah flashed him a big, goofy smile.

“Since you’ll be back around lunch you’ll have to bring some home.”

“Sure thing. Any requests?”

“You can surprise me.” Luke grinned up at him.

****

********

Luke rolled to his side expecting to snuggle into Noah’s back but instead he was met with nothing but mattress. Right…Noah was at work. At least it was the early shift so he wouldn’t be gone all day. And he promised to bring home lunch.

Speaking of food. Luke was hungry. And he had to pee. Big time.

Luke hauled himself out of bed naked as the day he was born. He stopped himself from picking up his discarded boxer briefs and slipping them on. There was no need. This was his place. _His place with Noah._ He could do whatever the fuck he wanted.

Walking around naked was one of those things. Noah would certainly encourage it. Hell…he planned on doing his damnedest to make sure that Noah wore as little clothing as possible while they were home.

Home.

Luke was never ever going to get tired of this word. Their home. He couldn’t wait for many of their firsts here together. The first of many.

Padding into the bathroom, Luke was surprised to see the navy blue and white striped shower curtain had been hung up. He hadn’t thought to hang it last night. All he could think about was making love…getting fucked…in _their_ bed…in _their_ bedroom. Luke opened the door to the small linen closet that was in the bathroom and there were the towels his mom had donated to their cause neatly stacked inside of it. Shaking his head, he grabbed one. Noah was really the sweetest boyfriend ever.

And that sentiment was echoed again when Luke stepped into the shower after he pissed and discovered that his shampoo had been unpacked and was sitting inside the shower caddy next to Noah’s shampoo. Luke vowed that he would surprise Noah and get some of their stuff unpacked before he got home from work.

Luke didn’t doddle in the shower, partly because he wanted to roll up his sleeves and start getting the apartment in some sort of order and also because he was starving. Thankfully, there was some leftover pizza that would take care of his hunger. He strolled back into the bedroom to get dressed. Digging inside the dresser he found a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt, quickly slipping them on. Luke had a busy morning ahead of him.

Grabbing his cell from the top of the dresser, Luke turned it on as he sauntered out of the bedroom. He had one voicemail. Punching in his code, he put the phone to his ear and listened to the message which was from his mom, telling him that he’d left one box behind and he could pick it up anytime he wanted. Luke called her back, but got her voicemail.

“Hey, Mom, got your message. I’m going to be pretty busy today, but I’ll stop by tomorrow to get the box. Love you, bye.”

Luke pocketed his phone. One last box to get and then he’d be “officially” moved out of his parents’ house.

There was an unexpected surprise waiting for Luke when he entered the kitchen - a carafe filled with coffee, his meds, an onion bagel with a side of cream cheese and a note.

 

_Luke,_

_Here’s a little something for breakfast. Wish it could be more. I promise you a pancake breakfast very soon._  
Love,  
Noah

 

Grinning, Luke read the note three times. His first note from Noah in their apartment. Luke couldn’t bring himself to throw it away. He knew it was silly and incredibly girly, but he folded the note and put it in the nightstand in the bedroom for safekeeping. He’d figure out a better place for it later.

Now it was time to eat.

The toaster was still packed away, but there was a microwave above the stove. Nuking his bagel wasn’t his first choice, but it was better than eating it cold. He put it in the microwave and then poured a cup of coffee doctoring it up with ample amounts of cream and sugar while he waited for the bagel to heat up. He downed his anti-rejection meds for his kidney, grateful that Noah had unpacked them for him. The microwave beeped, singling that his breakfast was ready. Luke slathered the bagel with cream cheese and then took a big bite of it.

Luke stayed in the kitchen eating at the counter since the dining room table was covered with boxes from his Grandma Emma which were filled with some food staples for the kitchen – flour, sugar, salt, pepper, spices. She had also packed a box full of cleaning supplies. There was also another box from her that he hadn’t opened yet, but it was also labeled ‘KITCHEN’ so he figured it was more of the same so it could wait until Noah got home. He should probably leave what kitchen supplies they had alone so they could figure out to which way they wanted to set up the kitchen.

_Their kitchen._

Luke could already envision them cooking together. Well…he would try to cook with Noah. Or he could just keep Noah company while Noah cooked. Either way it was going to be incredible.

Popping the last bite of the bagel into his mouth, Luke sauntered out of the kitchen, through the small dining area and into the living room. If he could get this area straightened up a bit it would make the most impact when Noah came through the door. Getting the living room cleared of most of the boxes was his first priority.

The first box Luke tackled contained books – his favorite novels, poetry, old text books he hadn’t sold back to OU, and books about writing. Luke put the books on the top shelf of the bookshelf, which left plenty of room for more books, pictures or whatever else they could think of.

The next box was one of Noah’s which was filled with DVDs. Luke didn’t dare unpack them because knowing Noah he had a system for how he wanted them displayed whether it was alphabetically or by genre. He wasn’t going to guess in fear of getting it wrong. Noah’s DVDs were so precious to him. Luke moved this box next to the small entertainment center, which housed the TV and DVD player, so it was out of the way. He wasn’t even going to attempt to set up the DVD player. It was Noah’s pride and joy.

The last box on the coffee table contained throw pillows for the sofa. There were four in all – two deep red, two plaid. Luke fluffed each of them before putting them on the couch. Taking a couple of steps away from the sofa, Luke broke out into a grin. The living room was already looking better. Noah would be so happy.

Luke unpacked board games which he put on the shelf in the front closet. There was artwork donated from the pool house, but he wasn’t sure if they’d end up using it. He wasn’t sure if prints of floral arrangements were in their decorating scheme. Noah’s movie posters would probably make the cut though. They’d just have to decide which room to hang them in – living room or bedroom.

God…he couldn’t wait for Noah to get home so they could start making these decisions together.

Deciding that he’d done enough in the living room for the time being, Luke broke down some of the empty boxes and took them out to the dumpster. The next room on his agenda was the bedroom. He started out by making the bed because he knew from the few weeks he shared his room at his parents’ house with Noah that an unmade bed made Noah crazy. You could take the brat out of the Army but not the Army out of the brat.

Well…Luke hoped to change that. Breaking Noah of all of the Colonel’s training was going to take some time. Hopefully, he’d be able to get his boyfriend to relax. Convincing Noah that the bed didn’t have to have military corners was going to be a challenge.

After the bed was made Luke Snyder style, he focused on the dresser which now would need to be shared with Noah. He was surprised by how many clothes he had, especially of the striped variety. He really should donate the stuff he no longer wore to the Salvation Army or Good Will. Drawer by drawer Luke purged his wardrobe, tossing the unwanted clothing into a heap on the middle of the bed. He could already hear Noah telling him that he should have done this before the move. Noah was practical that way.

Fetching an empty box from the living room, Luke filled it with the old clothing that he was going to donate and then he put it by the front door so that he could load it into his car the next time he went outside. There were a lot of stripes in the box. Now if he could only get Noah to part with some of his plaid…

Luke returned to the bedroom to continue his mission. Noah’s boxes were stacked carefully against the wall and labeled with black marker in neat block letters (everything about Noah was so tidy and organized). Most of the boxes held clothes, but there was one at the bottom of the stack marked ‘MISC’. Surely, he could help Noah with his miscellaneous stuff. The fewer boxes Noah had to unpack when he got home, the better since it give them more time for other things…more entertaining things that might involve something like fucking in the living room on their sofa or Noah bending him over one of the kitchen counters. Luke wasn’t fussy just as long as he eventually got fucked in every room of their apartment.

The miscellaneous box was at the bottom of the stack, but it didn’t deter Luke from getting to it. He put the box on the bed and then restacked the others. Luke used his car key to cut the tape that sealed the box. Peering inside, he found a mishmash of things – the old letters from Charlene (Luke wondered if Noah ever read all of them), a small stuffed animal, Luke’s black t-shirt that he’d lent him a million years ago, and at the bottom there was a picture frame. Luke grinned, wondering which picture of them he had blown up and framed. He picked it up and turned it over. Then his heart stopped.

This wasn’t a photo of them. No…

It was Noah and Ameera on their wedding day. Luke remembered the picture sitting on the end table at the cottage. It always taunted him every time he went to see Noah while he lived there. His hand began to shake.

_The picture should have been thrown away when Noah moved out of Grandmother’s cottage. Why did Noah still have this?_

Every single ounce of insecurity Luke had felt during that terrible time when Noah was married hit him full force.

_Noah Mayer, do you take Ameera Ali Aziz to be your wedded wife? Will you love her, comfort, honor her, and respect her? Will you share all life has to offer – your hopes and dreams, your achievements, and disappoints with her from this day forward? If so, say I will._

_Now she’s Mrs. Noah Mayer._

_I don’t think it’s safe for us to be kissing in public._

_She’s my wife._

My wife...my wife...my wife...

Every time Noah uttered those words the dagger in Luke's heart cut out a little piece of it. Luke had thought his heart had healed from the wounds Noah’s sham marriage had inflicted, but it felt as if it had been ripped wide open again. Luke just wanted to come first. Finally when it seemed like it was happening Luke discovered that Noah was still holding onto the past. His first instinct was to throw it against the wall so it would shatter into a hundred pieces.

But he didn’t.

Instead he wandered into the living room in a zombielike trance, trying his damnedest to figure out why…why… _why_ Noah would keep such a thing. Noah’s wedding day…god…just thinking those words made him ill…was one of the worst days of his life.

Scratch that…worst few months of his life. Not only was Noah married he had lived with Ameera…alone. Luke squeezed his eyes shut. Noah had lived with someone else before…

Here Luke had been foolishly thinking that this was a new, exciting experience for both of them. But it wasn’t. Noah had been through this before with Ameera. Hell…he had practically moved in with Maddie before he finally came out…was forced out of the closet.

He sank into the sofa still staring at the picture through blurry eyes. It was like a train wreck. Luke couldn’t take his eyes off the damn thing. So lost in his misery was Luke, that he didn’t hear the front door open.

“Oh my god, Luke!” Noah exclaimed, rushing over to him and dropping the Chinese food he’d brought with him onto the coffee table. “What’s wrong?”

Luke stared up at him unable to speak. There was so much he wanted to say to Noah, but the words were caught in his throat, all twisted and jumbled.

Noah knelt in front of him. “Did something happen?” he pressed. Wordlessly Luke handed Noah the picture. “Where did you get this?” Noah asked.

Luke blinked at him, quickly finding his voice. “Where did I get it?” he asked, his blood pressure rising. “That’s all you can say? _Where did I get it?_ I think the question should be why do you still have it?”

“I…uh…god, Luke, I didn’t…didn’t…even realize that I still had it,” Noah sheepishly admitted.

“Well…you do. Nicely packed away with the rest of your mementos,” the sarcasm oozed from his voice.

Noah’s eyes widened, like a deer caught in headlights. Being the brunt of Luke’s anger often had this affect on him. “I-I-I… must have just thrown it in a box…when… when I moved out of the cottage. I-I-I forgot that I had it.” He reached for Luke’s hand which Luke promptly yanked away from him. “Luke, why are you so upset about this?” he asked, his voice filled with hurt. “It’s…it’s just a picture. It doesn’t mean anything to me.”

“If it didn’t mean anything to you then why didn’t you throw it away?” Luke demanded, folding his arms across his chest. Before Noah could open his mouth to speak, Luke silenced him. “No…you fucking saved it! And it’s not ‘just a picture,’ Noah. That…” Luke jabbed his finger toward the frame. “That was your _wedding_ day.”

“It wasn’t real.”

“According to the state of Illinois it was pretty damn real! It felt pretty fucking real when I wrote your fucking vows…stood next you – not as your husband to be – but as your best man.”

Noah scrambled to his feet. “It wasn’t real. It was just a meaningless piece of paper. I didn’t marry her because I loved her. You know that,” he insisted. “I did it to save Ameera from having to go back to Iraq. That’s all. I didn’t think this was an issue anymore. I thought we agreed to stop rehashing this.”

“It’s kind of hard when my boyfriend is hanging on to a souvenir from his sham marriage. Is your old wedding ring packed away somewhere too?”

“That’s not fair,” Noah gasped.

“Was it fair to make me watch you marry someone else?” Luke asked as tears spilled from his eyes.

Noah shook his head, looking skyward. “We’ve been over this before. All you needed to do was tell me not to do it and I wouldn’t have gone through with it.”

_Oh…hell…no…_

Luke sprung up from the sofa, lightening fast. “How dare you put it on me?” he hissed. “I never really had a say in the matter. You had your mind all made up that you needed to rectify the sins of your father...that you needed to be some fucking white knight from one of your old movies.”

Noah’s eyes, shiny and wet with unshed tears pleaded with him to understand. “T-t-that’s not t-t-true. How you felt about the situation mattered to me. I asked you. I _asked you_ , Luke…more than once if it was okay with you.”

“Don’t you understand? It was a lose-lose situation. Either way I was damned,” Luke said. “If I said no then you would have hated me if something happened to her back in Iraq.”

Shaking his head, Noah marched into the kitchen and tossed the picture into the garbage frame and all. “It’s in the trash now where I should have put it over a year ago. Happy? Can we move on now?”

“You still don’t understand.” Luke slowly approached him. “I wonder if you’ll ever understand how awful it was for me. A part of me died the day you married her. And the entire time you were married to her I felt like I was slowly losing you. Time and again you told me that we couldn’t see each other because of the fucking ICE. I was pushed aside like some castoff. All I wanted was to be with you…stand next to you…be your boyfriend.”

“You never stopped being my boyfriend. I’ve always loved you, Luke.” Noah tentatively touched Luke’s shoulder. “I wanted to be with you back then too…alone with you. It was all I could think about. I-I-I tried my best to make it all work. I made mistakes, but you have to know that I loved you so much.”

“I know.” Really he did know this even back when Noah had a hard time saying the words aloud. But during Noah’s brief marriage to Ameera, Luke didn’t always feel loved. Neglected…unwanted…a tag along…that’s how he felt a lot of the time. Noah never seemed to understand just how deep this wound ran. Deep as the fucking Grand Canyon. “I didn’t always feel that way though,” Luke told him. “Not when I had to watch you with your arm around her, walk her to class, put her needs before mine…”

“She was my…” Noah tried to catch himself, but it was too late. The words were already out. Luke knew all too well how the unfinished sentence ended.

“Wife. She was your wife. And I was just in the way.”

Noah pinched the bridge of his nose. “That’s not how I meant it…god…I just had a certain obligation to her. It was never about love though. Never. I just wanted to do that right thing.”

“For her.”

“Because I didn’t want her to get deported,” Noah clarified. “You didn’t either.”

“You’re right,” Luke admitted. “I didn’t. But I also didn’t want to stand around and watch you play house in your cozy one bedroom cottage. Tell me something, Noah. Did you sleep with her?”

“Of course I didn’t have sex with her,” Noah insisted. “I can’t believe you’re even asking me this!”

“I didn’t ask about sex. Did you sleep in the same bed as her?”

Noah didn’t even have to open his mouth to answer…his face said it all. The color drained from it leaving it deathly pale. “I…uh…”

“Why? Why in the fuck would you share a bed with her?” Luke demanded, his body trembling with rage. The marriage was supposed to have been in “name only” so why would Noah sleep in the same bed as her. It didn’t make any sense to him.

“The ICE…”

No. Luke wasn’t about to let Noah use that as an excuse. “The ICE wasn’t peeking in your bedroom window!”

“I was afraid of getting caught. I thought we’d better play it safe so sleeping in the same bed seemed like the right thing to do,” Noah explained, reaching for Luke’s hand which he promptly yanked away. “The ICE had just been to the house. I was freaked out that they’d come back. Ameera was too. I hated seeing her so afraid, especially after all she’d been through.”

“Sounds like you were the perfect doting husband,” Luke spat. “Did you make her pancakes too?”

“Yeah…I did,” Noah said, glancing away from him.

Luke turned on his heel, stomping away from Noah. Before he could reach the front door, Noah was there hand pressed against, trying to prevent Luke from opening it.

“You can’t leave,” Noah told him. “We need to talk about this.”

“You can’t stop me,” Luke said, tugging on the doorknob.

Noah slipped his free arm around Luke’s waist, pulling Luke to his chest. “I’m not letting you go. You’re too important to me.”

“I didn’t always feel that way. I felt second best a lot when she was around.”

Noah held him tightly. “You were never second,” he murmured.

Luke wormed his way out of Noah’s grasp, marching over to the sofa, plopping down on it with a dramatic sigh. Every emotion he’d felt while Noah was married to Ameera assaulted him. It had been quite awhile since he’d felt so insignificant in Noah’s life. “But I was second with you…for a lot of things.” He glanced up at Noah, who was standing before him. “You were my first true love....my only real love. You were my first for everything...first guy I kissed, first person I made love to, the first person I moved in with, and someday I want you to be the first and only person I marry. But you already had these firsts…”

“No…you’re wrong,” Noah interrupted him. “You were my first for things…the first man I made love to…my first love, but I wasn’t your first love. Kevin was…”

“No…I…”

“No,” Noah cut him off. “It’s my turn to talk. Last year we were up in your room when you told me all about Kevin and what he had meant to you. Don’t try to rewrite history.”

“But I…”

“Don’t…just don’t,” Noah insisted. “I also remember you telling me how you’d hang out with Kevin at your grandmother’s pool house, get drunk, and sometimes watch a movie. Isn’t that where we got our furniture from?”

“So?” Luke wasn’t sure if he liked where Noah was going with this.

“So I get to sit on the same furniture you and your first love spent so much time on.”

Luke rolled his eyes. “That’s crazy. It’s only furniture. We never even did anything! I told you how he treated me after he found out I was gay. Kevin was nothing more that some stupid infatuation, not my boyfriend, not my lover and never my spouse… _nothing_ compared to you and her.”

Noah sat down next to him on the sofa, gently touching Luke’s tear-stained cheek. “No one ever compared to you and no one ever will - not Maddie, not Ameera, not even my stupid crush on Kyle. _No one_ , Luke.”

“It didn’t feel that way when you were married to Ameera,” Luke quietly admitted. “I felt like I was still fighting to stand by your side even though I was supposed to be your boyfriend.”

“I always want you by my side, Luke.” Noah wiped the tears from Luke’s cheek with his thumb. “Someday I hope to say vows with you at the farm…maybe down by the pond.”

Luke had dreamed of marrying Noah down by the pond which was a special place for them, but he could never marry Noah at the farm. Noah already had one wedding there. Luke didn’t want to be his second.

“Not at the farm,” Luke whispered, glancing away from Noah.

“Why?”

“You’ve already done that. I can’t be…I just couldn’t…”

Noah stared at him completely dumbfounded. “B-b-but what about the pond? I always thought of that as our special place.”

Luke shook his head. “No…the pond is part of the farm and your first wedding took place there. The marriage might have been annulled but it still happened. Nothing can change that.”

“I’m so sorry, Luke,” Noah murmured, squeezing Luke’s shoulder. “I never meant to ruin that for you. I know how special the farm is to you.”

Luke turned back to Noah. God…Noah looked so sad and it was because of him and his neuroses. Moving in together was supposed to have been a happy occasion. Hell…it had been until Luke found that stupid wedding picture and went completely off the rails. He never should have gone through Noah’s boxes even if his intentions had been good.

“I should have said something, but I felt so powerless. Grandma was baking a fucking cake, the girls were going to be bridesmaids, everyone seemed so happy, you were trying to write vows…it was like Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride and I couldn’t get off of it,” Luke explained. “My heart was breaking and I couldn’t say a thing because I would have been the bad guy. I would have seemed selfish and jealous.”

Noah leaned his forehead against Luke’s. “I should have seen what it was doing to you. I couldn’t have stood by and watched you marry someone else…name only or not, because you’re mine. I was stupid to think that you wouldn’t have the same problem with it.”

“I’m sorry I freaked out on you,” Luke said, playing with Noah’s hair. “Seeing that picture just brought it all back. I thought I had dealt with it and moved on, but obviously I hadn’t.”

“You might not have been my first for a lot of things, but I can assure you that you’re my last.” Noah gazed deeply into Luke’s eyes. “Last is what is important, because it’s forever. I want you to be the last person I ever make love to, the last person I ever live with, and the last person I spend the rest of my life with. You are my one and only love, Luke Snyder.”

Tears spilled from Luke’s eyes but this time it wasn’t from sadness or anger. “I love you too, Noah Mayer…always and forever.” Luke sealed his promise with a kiss. Noah was right…last was what mattered.

And it’s what he wanted with Noah. He was “it” for Luke. Luke wanted to share everything with Noah, and that included things that were going to be firsts for both of them, like building a life together, someday buying their first house, and when they're ready, raising a family together. Even if Luke wasn't Noah's first in some things, if it meant he would be the first, last and only in the important things, then every trial and tribulation was worth it.


End file.
